Chapter 2: Love and Punishment…
My sister just comeback from the school and then she look at me like I’m a leper.
“What on earth you do that, sis? You ruin my image.”
“What, what, what. What do I do?”
She’s talking to me at the kitchen, while I’m getting my drink.
“You made your self like an idiot at Marco’s.”
“I bet you hear that from your teacher.”
“No, Tiffany told me.”
“Damned that cross-dresser, he always wants me to get into trouble since high school days.” I sip my cold water. “And I was drunk, okay. I slipped…like you never slipped when you talk how you miss your ex-boyfriend.”
“But you took it so far to the core, sis. I have experience of broken hearted too you know, but I never done the extreme way like you do.”
“Oh yeah, everybody ganged up to tell me that I’m wrong? Okay love-life teacher, can I go now, because I must go to my detention room to dig up my own graves. You can call me 100 years later, K’ kiddo?” I walk in to my room and buried myself with the blanket in my bed.
“Who, me? Get a clue lady, the one who messed up it’s you. Get a mirror and watch yourself. You have issues, from head to toes its all issues. No wonder that they call you a car wreck, you let your self be a car wreck.”
That crazy brat, so what if I’m letting myself as a car wreck? So what if I punish myself to be a clown in front of him? The one that messed up is me? What did he knows about me? That stupid brat. Damned, I don’t have any clue why he’s voice over-ing on my freakin’ head getting me all annoyed. Seriously, I hate those types. Because I’m so annoyed, I don’t want to make graves on my bed so I change my clothes to go out. And then I get a call from my colleague, Panji who runs a small architect company. He needs my help to design a beach house, because I have a lot of time and he willing to pay me big number on my account, I take his request. It’s been so long since I wear pretty dress. I open my wardrobe, and then I pick my halter jumper pants with my blue t-shirt. Because tomorrow is the BIG day, I want to go to the hair salon. Well, yesterday my pride and dignity falling into pieces. Now I’m going to pick what’s left from it. Car wreck, huh?
At the hair salon that I knew, the staffs are trying to pull the best of my hair; you know my hair is like a broom. If I know that I’m going to hate my self I never, never again perm my hair like this. So the staff tells me that I would look great if my hair colored brown and make it soft-straight. And I said to them to do what ever they like. After 2 hour, my hair is done. When I see the mirror, I REALLY see the mirror. I saw me, the one that before I knew and date Eddie. Hahaha…the witch is back!!! I’m proud to be me.
I feel better, today I walk with my head up and never know that when I walk there’s actually people looking at me curiously, not because I’m ugly, but somewhat bemused. I’m 27 years old, but I finally realize that in this past 2 years I’ve been a fool, So Ho is right about letting me be the car wreck itself.
So after this simple transformation I go to Marco’s, to apologize and have me not to be banned by him from entering the café.
Tiffany saw me in an awe sight and whistle herself. She comes near me to ask what I want to drink.
“Just beer. Hey, where’s Marco’s?”
“Why d’you ask? Got a crush for him?”
“Hell no, I just want to say thank you and apologize about what happen yesterday. I totally lost control of myself.”
“Don’t worry girl, Marco is a nice guy. After all both of that cutie don’t spread any blood here, but speak of the devil one of your cutie is here. Drown on his drunkenness.”
“Is my ex boyfriend or the underage?”
“Look at yourself. You look pretty by the way; did you change your hair color?”
“Yeah, do you like it?”
“You know what Jo, you know well why I hate you since high school right?”
“Not exactly, tell me about it?”
“You’re pretty and smart, you drawn people by your coolest attitude. I want to be like you, so straight forward. Girl, don’t dresses like a hobo okay? I’m sick of your training suit.”
I don’t know that Tiffany is sweat after all. I found Su Ho; the one that I want to hit hard on the face is looking at me with his chin on top of his hand. I turn my face in disgust when I sit in front of him.
“Are you embarrassed?”
“Shut up, kiddo! And what are you doing drinking alone?”
“For your record old lady, I’m not a kid. And the reason why I drink alone is because I want to drink alone.”
He squint his eyes. “I never know that you’re pretty.”
“I’m still pissed you know.” I gulp my beer in one shot. He’s surprised.
“What, I hate become pretty if I can’t do whatever I like.” I raise my hand to ask the second glass. Tiffany brings it to me. When I grab the second glass, he snatches it from me.
“What I can’t drink now?”
“If you drink like that your stomach will hurt.”
“But I’m pissed. You know since the day I born, I never fail at anything. But since 2 years ago, everybody start to stab my back. My boyfriend who cheated on me with my best friend, the company accused me sharing secret information to another design company. I’m ruin— totally fall down. Shit…it doesn’t taste like I’m living!” I snatch my beer from his hand and gulp it down more.
“You poor thing…”
“Hey, how can you call your master ‘bastard’?”
“Never mind, it useless talking with you kid!”
“Hey, don’t call me kid, kiddo, bastard, or brat anymore, it won’t hurt you to call me Su Ho right—I mean out side the dojo.”
I grin at him. He gulps another glass cleansing it.
“You look pathetic yesterday when you drunk and beg him like that.” He laughs at me.
“Oh shut up!”
I think I’m getting drunk after the third glass; I put my head down on the table. And between those times more beer place on the table. He empties it all in silence. I think it’s raining out side; my heart fills with emptiness again. He joined put his head down, two of us looking at the window, looking at the rain that flow. I saw something from him that makes my heart drop into my feet, he silently shedding tears, without saying his hurt or he’s sad.
“I kill someone…” His voices are tremble. I glance at him, not in a pitiful way, but somewhat I need to hear his story.
“You don’t afraid of me?”
“Why should I afraid of you?”
“Just— “He paused. “It just today, it happens to be his birthday.”
“That’s why you move here from Korea?”
“The person you’ve kill, who?”
“My best friend…”
He recalls his past, that day it was raining too. Since a kid, Su Ho is a trouble maker— living on and off gangsters’ life. He’s changing the way he sees life from his new found friend. That friend name is Min Ki. He thought that his past will not haunt him anymore, but it his foul play from the beginning. His gangster’s friend looks for him to punish him because he wants to cut ties with them.
In 11 October 2003, 6 years ago, Min Ki dies when he’s trying to help him in a nasty brawl at an abandon warehouse. He should go to jail even he’s not the one who killed him. In the past 6 years, his memories still haunt him. He kills man life and dream. At Min Ki’s funeral he can’t bring himself up out to meet his family, he only stood out side even when his body was cremated. He saw Eun Joo, Min Ki’s girlfriend who can’t stop crying, his mother faint, and his father expressionless face sitting there.
From that day, he swears that he can’t have a simple happiness or even love. That’s the only way to punish him self.
“Well sometimes, bad shits do happen.”
He turn his face, we look at each other with our head still lying on the table. This kid who I though so idiotic and all pride were crying remembering his dead friend, like the end of the world his tears keep running down trough his good looking face.
“The reason why you drink alone is this?”
“I don’t like to drink and if I’m drunk his face, smile, and the way he call out my name will appear out of nowhere. That makes me scared you know?”
“Then go to sleep?”
“Let sleep here together…”
Yeah…I’m definitely drunk that day. Because Tiffany wakes me up at 7.00 in the morning, its looks like I sleep over at Marco’s place— on the table. But why only me who’s here?
“Morning Tiff, hey. Where’s Su Ho?”
“He left after you said ‘let sleep together’…hahahaha. Where’s Jovina who acts cool in front of guys, huh? Let sleep together, wow girl you screwed up.” Tiffany laughing at me, but do I really said that to him or it just Tiff who want me burn up with my own thought?
“Did I say that?”
“Sure, I know you’re drunk but let sleep together thing is too over. But you do a great thing though…the silent kiss is my favorite.”
“Kiss, what kiss?”
“You don’t know you’re kissing him?”
“I-I kiss him?”
“Yeah, you want prove?” Tiffany took her phone and shows me my picture that she captures when I kiss him. “With several photo like this I can makes a good gif from it.” That witch laughing at me again.
“Tiff, delete it or I kill you for it?”
“Bite me!” Before I managed to snatch her phone, she surely still has that running talent from high school day I guess. She disappears into the kitchen. When I look at the clock on the wall, I’ll get late if I don’t hurry up cleaning my self just for the meeting at 9.00 at Panji place. I went home and rush myself to the shower and put my ruffle dress that been buried at my closets long time ago, miraculously it still fit on me. I match it up with my skinny jeans, and of course I borrow April hair roller and tada…I have a big curly hair, put my makeup on— finished.
Panji is waiting for me in the meeting room, really…I miss this kind situation, along with him there’s my classmate too, Dimas. He’s taking the interior and exterior design of that beach house. Panji says that if I can pull it out this one and makes a great design, he will consider hiring me to work at his place. I’m happy, it’s like I’m alive again— I’m the Lazarus man. Our client wants a simple design, so I give him several choices from the sample that I brought. After the meeting and lunch with Panji and Dimas, I decide to go home telling my parent who might be drop dead in happiness— it’s metaphor, because I’m able to get a job again. My family decides to make a fest dinner tonight to celebrate the time that I finally born again as a person, not a car wreck. My mom fed me up till I’m going to burst, but suddenly I think of Su Ho. How is he anyway? Well since last night he was crying, should I visit the dojo? If I go, what the reason I’ll gave him? But really, I’m worried about him.
So I put the fried chicken, the soup, my mom sweat-sour sauce puyonghai on tupperware. When I arrive there at the dojo, I saw the light still on. I knock but there’s no one answer my voice. So I open the door, that when I see him sleeping on the mats, there’s multiple beer can too. Is he drinking again?
It’s not good sample if the master of Taekwondo turn alcoholic’s junkies. I walk to him, pat him a bit on his back to waking him up. But that kid still sleeping like a baby. But when I want to move the can beer and I’m not aware that he grab my right hand, his power makes me fall and sit on the mat. Without opening his eyes, he’s sleep-talking.
“You’ve came, Min Ki….You SOB’s, I thought you’ve never come.”
What the…I was thinking what should I do when I was call SOB by this pathetic overdose-beer brats, should I kill him or beat him to death? Without giving me a chance to avoid him, he suddenly pulls me over his chest and hugs me tight.
“It’s been awhile…it’s really been awhile. It-it’s was hard for me, man. Are you happy there?”
My heart beat faster; my face turn red, on the inside I have this warm feeling because it’s been a while too for me to be hugs by a man— that kind of feeling bugs me. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I think I kiss him again. Good job, Jo. Now maybe in his dream right now he angry at Min Ki who is a man and he kiss him. Awww…this was awful. He’s a kid, I’m 27 and he’s 20 years old. This is a mistake…I should go home now. I release myself from his hugs, clean the can, and put the food on the fridge and put a sticky not ‘Don’t drink beer too much. Hey, I got a job now ^ ^ hehehe, are you happy? Because I have a job now, I can’t be your sparing partner anymore and maybe not come often to practice. But Alex he’s good too, you just practice with him alright. In the fridge, there’s human food, if you’re human at least eat it. Wish me luck kiddo ^ ^’— and I walks out with something on my mind, this is love or punishment?
to be continue…